friday - 30/9/05

hmm. its already friday and i havent started on my physics and history yet. all i did was cram my maths and chemistry. maths ... can get my 1 anot?! losing confidence. or maybe im worrying too much?

im damn bored la. dun feel like studying, n im going to wheelock later w/ sher n maybe gab to get our shuffles fixed. cuz my charger cant work anymore. duno wad happen.

tonite my dad's farewell party. he n my mom giving speech n my mom's singing. next week my dad taking leave. den no more in the army le. he has a new job at the LKY's school of public policy. of cuz government job la he serve in the army for so many years alr.

okie i gtg. bbye.

thursday - 29/9/05

my grandma's been nagging bout my "hair loss". she might think i have cancer or something, but i havent the heart to tell her i had got it cut.

hais. i miss my shuffle sooo much. but i guess im going tmr to get it fixed. i wonder if you need the apple earphones? cuz i exchanged mine with shumei and she has it now. there's no way im getting it back by tmr cuz we're not seeing each other. plus, i cant just go to her and ask for it back. the one she exchanged for the aple earphones are like, freakin cheap and its spoilt nw. i cant juz give those back to her.

anyway, its already thursday. goodness. N'levels in 3 days !! i think im gonna freak.

english and history's first paper. and i havent touched history yet. i think i can get ready to fail humans, tho im rather confident about passing my ss paper.

alright. guess i have to go study now. FIVE POINTS FOR N'LEVEL!

tuesday - 27/9/05

hmm. yesterday had art. got the time wrong so ended up spending a few hours in L@F. but it was fun. went to dover and everything. n there were more shouting ...

guess what? tmr's angel's birthday! lol.

its study break but i dont have the motivation to study. i rather go to school and have lessons. at least it isnt so 'undisciplined' and we get work done together.

cut my hair yesterday. pang threatened to ban me from taking N'level if i dont get it cut by next monday. and the lady gave me a 'new style' that cost me my whole allownace. now i owe sher two bucks.

hai its so butch. im afraid pang'd say its too 'messy' and tell me to cut it short. i'll cry if he ever says that. ppl were staring and laughing at me when i stepped into L@F after cutting my hair. HAI. but i like it.

i know im supposed to be studying. but i've been doing maths and im tired.

there's smth wrong w/ my shuffle. matthew borrowed it for the past few weeks, n sumhow it wont charge, he says. darn if its really spoilt, my mom will kill me. but heck. i went without music for so many days, i can go without it till i get a new one or something, IF its spoilt.

been feeling a bit psycho these few days. with art, and everything. hai. beginning to regret taking art because ITS SO MUCH WORK! four layout plans, three colour schemes, theme development, sketches .. and for starters you nid a good idea. and mine's trash. its so hard to draw. esp when others kept saying my drawings of ppl look like ghosts, and my theme revolves ard people.

saturday - 24/9/05

went to the airport today. walked ard and everything. went to tampines mall but there's nth there. went back to the airport cuz gab wanted me to help her to take photos for her art. in the end she went herself so went back with her.

aft that left for dinner at al dente, esplanade. not bad. had the lamb penne, something something something, something something something and the salami pizza. ordered four dishes and shared. did the stupid thing of eating bk at the airport before leaving. was rather stuffed when i got there. no appetite.

but well i enjoyed the family time we had.

and i think gab misses badminton. she's been hitting the shuttle ard with her racket since we got home.

AUGH! my sister ate candy in my room and left the packet there the whole time! my desk is crawling with ants!

thursday - 22/9/05

yes! saturday night, dinner with gab and my parents. cant wait.

wednesday - 21/9/05

its already wednesday! time has been flying past lately in a twinkling of an eye. strange. but as gab said, you control how fast time passes. when you have fun, time slips past. but when you're bored or something, time seems to stand still.

anyway, school was good. whiled away P.E. and chinese lesson. did compo outlines in english, and checked maths paper in maths. it seems that the more papers i do, the lousier i become. serious! i get lower and lower. ms thio wasnt happy with me. loads of careless mistakes. and i rely on my textbook a lot.

stayed back to teach shumei maths. can vomt blood. 7 + 2 = 8. thats what she said. and she nvr read the question properly. aaron, being a kind soul =P, offered to wait for me. he helped too. im grateful for his help haha. cuz his maths is considerably better than mine. although he got a 5 or 4 for his N'level prelim maths, and i got a 1. other ppl get better with practice, i get lousier. where is the justice in this world?!

well teaching her was fun although we were refraining from strangling her. hmm. we walked to the busstop and parted ways there. saw nicole there and took the bus home with her. and here i am.

im thinking of watching 'the cave'. but, well.. haha.. im kind of scared.

alrightt.. i gotta go sort out my papers. tah.

sunday - 18/9/05

well. woke up late today, ard like 11am. watched a bit of 'Friends', then put on 'Red Eye'. watched it with danielle cuz, well, gab was out. anyway, the show was excellent. then watched more of 'Friends' and yeah. after that got really tired, so went to take a nap. we were all supposed to go for my grandma's birthday dinner [dad's side].

i was sleeping when they were ready to leave, and i heard my mom tell my sisters that they shouldn't force me to go since i was really tired. heard them reply, "what? but its her grandma's birthday, she should have a sense of filial piety towards her". that did it. talk about filial piety and i'll feel compelled to go. so i got up and went.

and i didnt regret it. i forgot how humourous my family was when together. my parents plus my aunties and you have a comedy show. well, it was fun. yeah.

went home, and my sisters put on the rest of 'The Cave'. they were watching it halfway thru before we left, and they finished the show when they came back. well i joined them. missed the front part cuz they were watching it when i was asleep. it was quite cool. all the aliens and everything. i only saw one death, and it alr disgusting. im glad i didnt watch the whole thing.

well. i gotta go. school tmr. argh.

saturday - 17/9/05

well another week has passed, and we're nearer to the horrors of the N'level exam. im getting less and less confident of my maths by the minute. they say prelims are harder than the N'level. but i tried an N'level maths paper in school yesterday, and couldnt do a couple of questions. actually, more than a couple. in the first few pages, i alr left out three questions, and all so simple when given the solution.

my mom's out. she told us about this farewell thing the SAF did for my dad. video clips showing him as an officer, then another of him as a gentleman and friend, and the last as a family man. so i guess they're like comin over to shoot us when we're at home. you know, doing our own stuff.

they fought again. she shouted. i hate it when they quarrel. she gets into a considerable foul mood and i cant speak to her again until she feels better. and days at home without someone to talk to is a real depresser.

i guess all i can do today is study my maths. im using it for one of my best three in N'level, so i definitely cant screw up. but in practices i always end up with a2s, missing a1s with one mark or so.

this year's N'level is crucial. there are always other people waiting to come into fairfield, and even if we pass within the range of 10 points for 3 subjects, we may not be guaranteed a place. retaining is definitely not an option, as next year's sec4 n(a) classes are full. so getting an 8 or 9 for N'level is really risky.

though i got a 7 for my prelims, im also in the danger zone. mr pang opened the option of taking CLB for chinese but im not sure if i want to go down that path. but, well, its still an option for me, but the bad thing is, i cant use chinese for O'level at all if i take CLB. i once i had a friend from CLB classes, and he told me if im concerned of what people think, then its the wrong path for me. im not sure about getting discriminated or looked down when you take CLB but if its the case, i'd rather take O'level chinese next year and use it for my Os.

home feels isolated. my parents go out till late at night. and the only time i get to talk and laugh with my sisters is when we sit together to watch 'beyond the aXis of time' on channel 8. thats when they stop fighting. until he calls.. then she leaves the room and sits in the dark. and you hear the shouting again..

well, gab just left to meet sher, and danielle's probably going out later. none of my parents are home. well i guess its time for me to start on my maths. see ya.

friday - 16/9/05

gee the week passed by so quickly. just spent the entire afternoon reading the fourth book of harry potter. damn nice man ...it was my third or fourth time reading it but its still as interesting as ever. i think the movie's gonna be like 3 hours long.

anyway got my final marks for the prelims, and i passed 5, failed 1. stupid humans.

well i did horribly overall. haiz. i had to use science. got seven points for three best lar, so its not so bad. but the overall is treacherous! im really slacking now. cant even understand what the teacher is talking about. english is my second best sub but i lagged behind in class today. was one of the last to finish. mrs quah had to hurry me along.

oh that reminds me.. i got my art question paper for Nlevel paper 2. argh. so nervous. mdm lim gave me a pretty good idea on what to do, so i gotta split. have to do my research. tah.

monday - 12/9/05

he's my motivator,
always pushing me on;
he never let me give up,
he never gave up till i won.

he's my helper,
always doing things he can;
he assisted me in his own way,
and not based on just a plan.

he's my teacher,
letting me learn more;
he taught me my first step,
so i could go out and explore.

he's my guardian angel,
full of love and protection;
allowing me to be myself,
not caring about perfection.

he's my friend,
and never let me get sad;
but above everything he is,
the most he is, is my dad.

monday - 12/9/05

know whats ironic? just last night i was itching to get back to school today. and this morning i woke up envying those who didnt nid to go back to school.

got back my physics and history paper. miraculously, i passed both. so i passed combined sci but failed combined humans but a small margin. alright, not that small. i had 44% total.

ms thio helped push me up to a1 for my prelims, but i stupidly didnt bring my GCE 'N' Level 2002 practice paper today. so she changed her mind about pushing me up. i hope she changes my grade though.. got an earful from mr pang during life skills. gosh. forgetting the paper is NOT worth that grade. but i got a 4 for my sci. which isnt so good. cant wait to get back my english tmr!! omgomgomg. im counting on that a lot.

just stuffed myself with mooncake. lol. and im thinking of working during the weekend. at somewhere in tiong but its kind of the wrong timing to get an idea like that, because all i have is three weeks till my actual 'N' Level. what scares me is that the marking criteria is totally different from fairfield's. fairfield was really lenient.

and once again i find myself trying not to die of boredom. was talking to gab just now. we just .. talked, you know? it was nice. i miss that. we used to talk to each other about anything and everything almost everyday before matt came along. first i got too busy for her. then now's her turn to get too busy for me. but heck. im thankful enough she didnt move out. haha. joking joking.

she got a distinction for her oral. im suddenly so proud of her.

11/9/05

i didnt really have a good day. been at home and trying to keep myself from dying of boredom. watched a couple of dvds, did my maths and watched tv again. i got so happy when my parents came home and my dad watched tv w/ me. at least i had some company.

then my sisters came home. they go out a lot. i've just realised that. i didnt really notice cuz i was out a lot too. but i stopped going out since, erm .. i dont know. quite some time ago. i think aft we handed up our Nlevel paper 1 art.

we're probably getting back our prelims starting tmr. well, i was once excited, but when i got back some last week, the results werent as good as i'd expected. im lucky i passed everything so far except, well, social studies. and im pretty sure i flunked history too.

i dont know how i can stand the december holidays. just a couple of days break and im alr bored out of my gourd and itching to get back to school just so i have something to do. we're probably going overseas in the christmas break and im thinking of getting a job too. too bad they dont hire just for the week.

watched 'the matrix reloaded' and 'are we there yet'. four hours gone and im still finding something else to do. im done watching tv. my eyes are pretty painful alr. and i should probably stop using the computer too.

10/9/05

right.. whiled the whole day away. but spent a bit of time with my mom, so i guess that counts for something.

im awfully quiet at home nowadays, and i wonder why. i find that i can only talk to gab but not other ppl. i was supposed to go to this mid-autumn festiv with sher, gab and matt but my dad didnt approve and yadda yadda yadda. the netballers were going anyway so i guess sher wont totally be alone. i feel guilty of backing out last minute though.

i suddenly feel like a horror movie. you know, a good scare. but nothing like 'red shoes'. something like cursed, or amityville horror. i feel like a could use a good scare you know. haha. but i doubt there're any good shows now cept for 'those kind'.

my diary's been my best friend these couple of weeks. at home, i mean. i dont know why but my life's been oddly empty. no, its not all those 'i miss having a boyfriend' jazz. its been quite a while since i've been single and i can tell you, its quite .. nice. haha.

ah whatever. its only 1530 and i've got nothing to do. ah shit, i should've gotten 'the goblet of fire' from sher. someone borrowed mine but i cant remember who. ah its so frustrating. i wanna read the book before the movie so i can explain to gab whats the movie about. i do that every time.. haha.. quite fun la. its the only time i know something better than her.

oh man. i'd study but i dont have my books. and neither do gab. its pretty humid these few days too. too hot some days and too cold others. but more often than not, its hot.

suddenly, i miss art.

6/9/05

ALRRRRRIGHT!

social studies is OVER for this year! hahahaa. it feels grrreat. now i can focus on my maths. the surprising thing is, one question was the same as from prelims, and i did that before. haha. so it was, well, easier. at least i'd chiong-ed that part this afternoon. we had like, 5 hours break in between the papers. we were finding a comfortable place ta study, and ended up walking here and there.

ah well. chinese is over, and so is social studies. i'd drop fretting about humans but there's still history. bummer. we're free for the week, but ms thio gave us maths papers to do. haiiiii. she had a really bad case of pms today. get this: the reason why 'it's' called pms is because mad cow disease was alr taken. HAHAHA.

i gotta figure out what to do tmr. it'll probably be another day with myself. and study maths. oh man.

walau i missed a1 by 1.5 marks lah! grrr. for my maths. but it doesnt help anw. its just prelims and i had loads of careless mistakes. gosh. im gonna read thru the paper for like, ten times during the actual Nlevel.

stayed to study at L@F aft school. shumei went to the library and gab went for the humans remedial. shucks.but studying alone was good [for me]. there werent distractions, and plus, kawai lent me this study guide thing that is really good.

well then shumei asked if me and her could follow gab to, you know, meet matthew. and the answer came of no surprise to us. yeah you guessed it. he said no. but heck. we walked ard tiong, then sm came up the use the com for awhile. we didnt nid them to have fun. we talked and everything. then sent her to the station and here i am.

sian lah. monday's chinese N level and tuesday's social studies N level. im gonna cram like crazy for social studies. NO WAY am i gonna fail that again.

ah. ok. gotta go. tah.

im currently crazy about the song we believe from good charlotte, with all credits to kl! haha. its because of her kind soul that i even hav the song.

anw, stoned ard today. woke up with nothing to do. stared at the computer screen and stuff. haha. i'd rather have school and get to get back prelim papers. failed social studies lah. haiyah. studied wrong thing.

well anw went downstairs to clear my head. met sher to pass her my social studies book for her to study. we talked for awhile, then headed home. and so here i am. talking to shem on msn and listening to music. im not looking forward to the holidays. there's absolutely nothing to do expect go out. and to go out you nid money. and its not something i've got alot of. haha.

we believe .. we believe .. we believe .. we believe .. we believe .. we believe .. in this love ...